So she walked.
The road was not meant for pedestrians, only automobiles, and lots of them. She had always been labeled a non-conformist, a rebel; just for being, just for standing independently. She felt exposed and incredibly alone as she crossed the rows and rows of solid white lines that had just ushered through cars and trucks with enough force to crush her on impact.
She thought about her frail body and marveled at how when walking, just like exercising, her brain released endorphins causing the mind to release pain. Muscles, in essence, held together thoughts of their own, and when worked, their memories were jogged. ********
So she walked.
He had told her to leave. It had happened before, a big argument, sudden eruptions, followed by drastic actions.
It was a beautiful sunny day during the madness of May. The garden was in bloom; windows finally cracked, letting in fresh air and cool lake breezes. As she turned back, the house she had felt so locked inside all year seemed almost close to perfection like she was already on pasture's greener side.
She left with nothing but a sweatshirt, empty pockets she filled with broken glass found on the sediment. She clenched it tight as the sidewalk ran out of concrete and turned to grass barely trampled. The inhabitants of the ornate multi-acre estates drove past her silently and without a passing glance. It occurred to her gracefully that if this were just a usual stroll down the block with a few key items of clothing removed, there would surely be an amigo or other bright-eyed cretin waiting to take her for a ride, offering his hand in a friendly advance towards supplying his energy for the muscles contracting in his pants. The thought made her want to spat, but her mouth was too dry. All her flowing juices were used up. This caged animal was set free, but left to die on the side of the road, life's collateral. ********
So she walked.
Her best friend was married today. It started off in a grandiose manner. She looked stunning as an honorable maid should. She only allowed herself a few moments of self-pity, once during the vows, and again when she saw them dance, their eyes lit steady on the other. She should be marrying him, or someone like him, she thought.
A multitude of fruity drinks where offered from every which way. Before she knew, she was drunk. The bride and groom were never the type to retreat to their habitat when a celebration was in store. It was late Saturday night and the town's only nightclub was playing Shania Twain's I Feel Like a Woman, which sounded even twangier than it should.
She wanted to go home, but her best friend nagged her. She didn't know if they would let her in, being a few months short of twenty-one and when they turned her away, the rest of her party had already gone inside. One of the newest radio hits came on, one her best friend loved, and she knew no one would look for her as they rushed to the floor.
Walking home didn't seem like a bad idea, until she got to the edge of town. Cars seemed to have minimized the true scale of the familiar terrain and made the trek seem almost formidable. Speed limits increased and the shoulder disappeared and dipped into a ditch on both sides. She had little option but to descend and let the tall reeds engulf her. The heels of her shoes sank into the softened earth and the blades of grass cut at her ankles. Her dress became soiled, but she didn't much worry. No one ever wore those bulky bridesmaid dresses a second time.
A small stream trickled under her feet. She had driven past the spot more times than she could count, but the flowing water that led to a small tributary had eluded her.
Just then a truck stopped up ahead and was sent in reverse. The driver opened the passenger window and asked if she needed a ride. She obliged. She had never seen him before and was thankful.
"I thought you were swimming down there." he said with a mischievous grin. She smirked and led him without haste the short path to her home. It was a small town, the type of place where everyone knew everyone else, and everyone else's business. As she jumped from the pick-up, she assured herself that her hometown wasn't the sort of place where bad things happened. Nothing really went unnoticed.
She ran upstairs to her room. The sun was shining and as she looked out the window towards town, the stream she had stepped in couldn't be seen. *******
So she walked.
It was just over a year ago she could not walk at all. Chemotherapy left her motionless. Long since divorced and never remarried, her boys now had a family of their own in separate cities. They did as much as they could in dire circumstances and somehow she made it through. She felt and looked great with only the front of her shirt draping more loosely around her.
Today she was walking, but not just any walk, the Breast Cancer Awareness Walk. It was invigorating, even though she walked alone due to her friend's last minute withdrawal. She let her mind wander and looked at the stunning architecture of the city. The younger girls were all nice, but wore shirts that read catch phrases like, "Save the Boobies". It was nice that they cared at all, but a lot of them just didn't get it and weren't really empathetic towards a real sufferer.
She had been walking a while before she realized she was lost. The girl in the pink shirt she had been following had turned onto a residential street, which surely couldn't have been the way. The only signs of life were some rap music blaring from a nearby complex, followed by an even louder woman cussing at a diminutive feature. Furthermore, the rain clouds that had been chasing them since yesterday picked that precise moment to let down their bounties.
She sat down on a rock, feeling lost and abandoned. For the first time since being in the throngs of her sickness, she felt like crying. But she had a reason then, and now she felt she had none. It felt even more pathetic to her to be sad and depressed without a valid excuse.
Out of no where, a young girl appeared, dressed all in white. She was spinning, twirling emphatically in the street.
"Excuse me." The old woman yelled after her. "Excuse me!" she yelled even louder, but the whirling dervish did not stop. Instead, she turned a corner and promptly disappeared. What could be seen, however, were the pink shirts of her cohorts a few blocks further along. She was not too far off course after all. She ran to meet the others, none of whom had missed her. Everyone was drenched and she gladly joined in on their laughter and ability to make the best of it.
She looked up. A silver lining appeared around the dispersing cloud formation. She looked back and saw nothing but dark alleys. Like a schoolgirl, she gave a big grin and ran off.
